Cancer…more than a disease

Do you know what it’s like to have a conversation with someone who is dying? This is something I would have never imagined I would wonder about, but now I find myself in that situation.  No, I’m not the one who has been told “there’s nothing else we can do” and that hospice will now be coming in help you prepare for “end of life”, but my sister is. The sister who is the “glue” to keeping our family together.  The sister who is the “second Mom” to my Son.  The sister who wants desperately to be at her daughter’s wedding in June, to watch her 12 yr old son grow up and graduate from high school and who wants to be the best grandmother ever. The sister who plans the family reunions, holiday parties and keeps everyone on-time and on-track. The sister who has so much to live for, is now the one dying. Thank you #OvarianCancer – NOT!!!!

So here we are, almost a year after her dreaded diagnosis, surgery and multiple rounds of “the poison to kill the poison” as my Father puts it, aka “chemo” which doesn’t seem to want to kill her particular kind of cancer cells, we are left scambling to understand the why & when.  She did ask, and didn’t want the doctors to tell her “how much time” she has left, as she didn’t want any preconceived timeline of the life she has left.  She doesn’t want her final months/days to be lying in bed, hardly able to get up, barley able to eat and throwing up but that is where we are at.  So I sit with her, hold her hand, rub lotion on her feet and legs and caress the snow white hair which is replacing her once blonde locks. Why is Ovarian Cancer so hard to diagnose? Why does the medical profession not make #CA-125 testing a routine part of blood tests? What difference does it make if the numbers are “elevated” for a number of reasons? Would you rather research in the beginning why someone’s numbers are elevated than wait until the numbers are so high it’s really of no use?   And why has my sister decided to stop the chemo treatments to have a better quality of like for the life she has left, only to be bedridden, skeletal and in pain? WHY???????????????????

#OvarianCancer #Sisters #Death #Cancer #Conversations #Dying

Published by Conversations with Carli

Just me...trying to live life one day at a time!!

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